Moonlight
by Souvenir
Summary: The persistence of cloaked visitors and his not stringent grip on reality convince Seifer to take a closer look at Twilight Town.
1. Sleep

**a/n: So, this is going to be a relatively short fic... I adore the characters of Kingdom Hearts, but I do not own them. **

**Anyway, I wanted to go for something very...different? Especially for this character. In conclusion, if you have absolutely anything at all to say about this, then please do leave a review. **

* * *

"…tell me something. I need to know this."

I always say the same thing.

"Sure. Anything, ask away."

They reply with something similar to that. Maybe they've got an arm holding me----loosely. Most are afraid to get too close, as if I'll run away the second they do. And who knows, maybe they're right.

"I'm normal, right? Don't you think I'm normal?"

Sometimes I say it desperately. And sometimes it's completely…casual.

"You, normal? Never."

_That _is always the same, too.

When I wake up, I'm sweating and crying and usually so tangled in the sheets that I fall on the cold floor with a thud. There is moonlight dancing on my hair and I swear I can feel it, just like I can hear waves crashing and undulating for a few tortured seconds until they fade away.

Then I wake up for real, and the sunlight is filtering on my face.

Night after night this happens. It's pushing me over the edge.

I get up and go to work anyway.

* * *

Today is Wednesday, or so my calendar says to me as I sit down to breakfast. Breakfast means whatever is in the fridge--- in the mornings I am in no mood to mess around with the stove or the toaster, both belligerent at best. (At worst concerns the smoke alarm.)

My roommate, I can hear him fall out of bed and stumble into the shower. I take mine at night, so I really wouldn't care but for the fact that he always always always leaves the bar soap on the tiles. Then it just dissipates, not to mention it's wet and gross…

It's hilarious. I'm going fucking insane and all I can worry about is the soap, like some higher function is making sure I skirt around the issue at hand.

Or like a crazy person.

And I don't know what's worse---the dreams at night or the fact that whenever I close my eyes, I'm seeing an ocean.

I take a deep breath, it catches, I try again. This has become a constant as well.

My hands protest against my insistent grip and I accidentally drop the scalding coffee cup on the floor.

I wait expectantly for the porcelain to shatter, for the coffee to splash hotly before pooling into a mess.

Looking under the table, I see the coffee cup sitting upright. Not a drop out of place. My heart beats faster, and then I hear---no, then I _sense_---someone in the kitchen and in my haste to turn around I hit my head on the corner.

Standing in the doorway, it's them again, staring pointedly at the disturbingly undisturbed coffee.

"See? I told you so." The words rush and echo fiercely and my blood pounds loudly in my ears. I think I'm going to pass out.

Then I wake up for real.

It's still dark out, but I can tell it's morning.

"Yo, Seifer! It's time for the rounds, y'know?"

Rai calls loud enough to wake up the whole building. I walk slowly down the stairs.

I don't look at the calendar.

I avoid coffee like the plague.

And I pretend to be normal.

* * *

**a/n: well, what do you think? I know---it's short. But if you like it, then you might want to check out my KH oneshot. **


	2. Something like that

**a/n: wow, this chapter just kept getting longer...I know where I'm going with this, really. **

**Ne way, I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any characters therein. Sad but true. **

* * *

"What's the trouble here?"

Is it the urgency in my voice that makes everyone's heads tilt and defer to me? Or is it something else? Thoughts flicker through my skull like fireflies, but nothing surfaces.

"Well, this woman says her cat's stuck down there…."

"Down where?"

We're standing in the middle of the square. I imagine that at any other time of day, the sun would be brutally pounding on my cloaked shoulders; except it's always twilight---a very determining factor in whether I'm awake these days.

In any case, several people point helpfully down at my feet. Discreetly I raise an eyebrow because the only thing there is an old metal grating, under which I assume is the sewer line.

I point at it, and they nod. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Fuu shying away. Rai still hasn't figured it out yet, and since Hayner and his punks are whiling away time somewhere, I'm the only capable person around.

"Okay, does anybody have a flashlight?"

No one did.

"Caution," Fuu said.

I bend down, lifting the grate gingerly, but the rust doesn't sting my fingers and I am left with the eerie feeling that perhaps it shouldn't be that way.

Somewhere in my head, I begin to think about how many of these situations arise---where I'm the only one around to do something.

The number gets too high for me to manage.

The question becomes, do I believe in coincidence?

There is no ladder, I notice, crouching before the gaping hole.

How wrong it seems. The inky blackness stares up at me, and I wonder just how far a drop it is. Was the cat alive, even?

And then----there. A faint meow.

"Oh, please hurry, Seifer." The woman runs one of the shops in town. Her rough hands are clasped in front of her red apron, probably to hide the fact that she's shaking. My heart goes out to her, and the circumstances don't really faze me anymore: here is a person that needs help.

I give a reassuring smile and inch my way into the opening, letting my legs dangle for a moment.

Part of me really, really doesn't want to drop into this questionable pit, where the twilight does not extend.

My hesitation doesn't last more than that moment, though, and soon I am falling.

The descent isn't very long at all----in two seconds I am on all fours and reaching out carefully to make sure this isn't a ledge.

I can't really say where these actions come from, only that I've always known how to take care of myself and protect others. I've always been tough. Sure of myself. In my own way, I guess I feel powerful.

_Miaow. _

Where was the cat?

The faces above me drift away and I creep along the moist wall, moving carefully. One poised foot in front of the other, walking deeper into the darkness. I can't see a single fucking thing down here. God knows what's lurking beyond corners I can't even make out.

To my right is the sound of a sluggish water flow. I could have stepped past the cat, and I wouldn't even know.

"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty."

My voice sounds strained even to my ears.

"Meow."

The sound is strangely directly in my ear. As I turn, I'm wondering how the cat got up so high, and find myself looking straight at them.

"Looks like you found me."

The voice is so much sharper here than in my dreams; it wrenches my heart up to my throat. I could swear the air around me is buzzing. I know that if I could see them, the attire would be the same---a black hooded cloak with silver fastenings. The works, you know? Something that screams "evil".

I try to speak, but only a strangled growl escapes from my lips. I ignore the instinct to shake and instead slide into a fighting stance. Meanwhile I can sense that they're smirking and the background is becoming fraught with waves.

I think to myself, twilight town is just above my head, there's no need to panic. But it sounds like a lie.

"You're not real," I finally manage to snarl.

The figure laughs, claps a hand on my shoulder like we're best friends. Though I'm protected by two layers, my skin burns at his touch.

"I don't know what they're going to do about you," he says. "You're not supposed to be able to think like this, you know? This is a _simulation_. Run with it." He pauses. "We're all doomed, anyway."

"Doomed? They? Explain yourself…now." This person spoke like an underling, which helped me regain my balance. I had underlings myself, after all. They were nothing special.

"It's exactly how I said---this place? It's not _real_. Sorry to spoil your existence, kid, but this place exists for only one reason, and it's not about you. In six days Namine will be done and we pull the plug…you'll be gone." He drawls with relish. But I can sense a deep well of bitterness in his tone, a well that seems to run for eternity.

"I'm not normal," I mutter.

The laughter is striking.

"Words don't matter if you don't believe them…"

"You're the one who told me, though…"

"_What?" _

I take a step backwards, away from that intensity. I want to slap myself for backing down. It's not like me. But staying here is risking my precious belief in normality---so I turn and flee.

Farther into the darkness.

What about the cat? If he was the one making the noises….

Maybe the cat didn't exist. Maybe the lady, the town, _me_…?

Pushing that poisonous thought aside, I think about how I'm going to get out of here. There was no ladder back there and I'm running for my….life? I guess.

I wish I knew why everything seems so hollow.

I wish I wish I wish.

It's so dark I might be dreaming, even now. Could it all be a dream? Was the hooded figure correct? I don't know who Namine is. Hell, I don't _care_---

That's right. I feel a little soothed….this is my personality. I defend the town and its people. I'm badass and dammit I'm _aware_.

How could I not exist? I've got passion…a soul….a heart. That's right. And I don't know what's been jerking me around with these screwed up dreams and hooded strangers….be it the gods, be it fate, or even destiny---_I am not going to cooperate. _

The increasing darkness fades just a little and suddenly my foot catches on a stone. I feel myself falling through empty air----I guess I was on a ledge this whole time. It figures.

* * *

This time I am not surprised when my eyes fly open and I hear Rai's voice calling me downstairs.

When I touch my hair, it's damp with seawater.

* * *

"Hey. You look scared. You've been to see that kid, right?"

"…yeah."

"But he's not real. Surely it wasn't a problem."

"I'm beginning to think that the lines between reality and nothing are not so clear. He has great sense of self, you know--- for someone that doesn't exist."

"What, like us?"

"Yeah. Something like that."

* * *

**a/n: yeah, so Seifer being on a ledge the whole time is a metaphor...if he hadn't found himself, he would probably have ended up not existing...**

**I'm getting kind of excited about this...**

**anyway, (if anyone is reading this) then please please leave a review! It makes me feel better...**


	3. Blue

**a/n: I know, I know. "Souvenir, why the heck are you updating this...this piece of _flotsam _when you have three or four huge ships that are about to sail into rough waters if you don't get back to them?!" The answer is--uh, capriciousness? I've had rather huge writer's block, and I'm _not _happy about it, but it's there. IN the meantime, enjoy a thoroughly neurotic Seifer. You know you want to...**

**and as you know, KH is the property of Disney and Square. Please, try to enjoy the chapter.**

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**Chapter Three**

**Blue**

The blue that I'm seeing, it's like nothing you've ever seen. It makes me remember kindergarten, when I was so entranced by the names on the labels and the sheer number of crayons that the teacher had in the box. There was a whole section of blue.

Actually, I think it was the biggest, which I guess is fitting.

The world is supposed to be covered in mostly oceans, after all.

Light. Dark. Sky. Robin's egg. Cornflower. Cerulean. Prussian. Teal. Aquamarine.

This color is all of these and none of them. It sounds stupid when I say it to myself, but that's it. That's the color of my dreams, the color that lingers behind my eyelids.

The color that I am steadily growing to fear.

"Seifer! Hey! Listen to me, you punk!"



"You're the punk, you dumbass!" I snap. Hayner pisses me off on a good day, and I really don't need his bad attitude right now.

I tell him as much.

"You're the guy with the attitude problem! Anyway…I just wanted to say that I'm gonna beat your ass at the struggle, especially after blaming us for those pictures. So be ready."

I fix him with my patented 'get lost' look. In reality, I'm not much looking forward to this year's struggle. It doesn't seem to matter so much…and at the same time the tension crackling tells me otherwise.

The town is starting to be all contradictions.

There have been other strange things happening. People are whispering about guys in white hoods. I'm more worried about black right now, but it's my job to keep things in check so today I'm out scouting for them anyway.

So far, I haven't seen anything.

Am I blind?

Or am I just closing my eyes?

It's hard to tell if I'm relieved by the lack of activity or not.

Regardless of the situation I find myself circling the town, accidentally losing Rai and Fuu as I double behind the sand lot.

There's no one around, which is strange for an afternoon, but then again, this _is_ the sand lot. Aside from the coming struggle, when it'll be brimming with the citizens of twilight town, only Hayner and his stupid gang hang out here on a regular basis.

It might not look like much, but to Rai and Fuu and myself, the sandlot holds sentimental and practical value. Too much has happened here for us to go long without spending an afternoon messing around or talking on the benches.

Even though it's our job to keep an eye on things, and so we know that this place is no utopia, the sandlot has always seemed _safe. _Always.

So when there's a blur of motion in my peripheral vision, my breath catches and I almost lose my balance in my haste to turn around.

It's only Hayner, standing three feet away from me. I raise my eyebrows, and will my heart to stop beating so fast.

"I thought you were done trash talking. Or did you forget something?"

I don't really have as much of a problem with Hayner as I let on. Sure, he's annoying as hell. He always turns up with his little gang exactly at the wrong moments. And he persists in glaring at me whenever we cross paths, unless he's too busy chatting with Roxas to notice.

Roxas is a whole other ball game.



Lately he's been acting in ways that are reminding me of myself; whatever that means. He used to just be Hayner's shorter playmate, but the dynamics are changing.

I find it a little more than disturbing that his eyes are the exact shade of blue I'm seeing.

"I said, quit staring at me! I didn't forget anything."

It's strange to see Hayner looking at his feet like that. He's more the type to charge straight ahead.

We all are, when I think about it. I think it comes with the territory.

"Okay." I put a hand on my hip. "If that's not it, then why the hell are you sneaking around?"

"I'm not sneaking around. I was waiting for you."

Silence.

"And? I don't have all day to entertain you, you know. I'm on patrol right now."

"You're always on patrol," he mutters. "You don't care about anything else anymore." He kicks at the sand with his shoe. Hayner doesn't wear socks, ever, so little grains of sand stick to his ankle and the sides of his foot.

I realize I'm staring at the ground and snap my eyes back up to his face.

"_Someone_ has to. It's my _job._ It's always been my job. What, do you expect Rai to shoulder the responsibility? Fuu? Yourself?"

"Don't snap at me," he says cheekily, brows lowering. "All I wanted to know is, are you okay? That's all! Then I'll leave you to your _responsibilities_," he's not shouting, but he's waving those hands of his around in the air like a madman.

"Don't you ignore me!" If I give him another thirty seconds, he'll start throwing sand at me.

It's funny. How could they be right? How could someone with such tendencies not exist? No one could just think up someone like Hayner.

"It's preposterous," I say, which earns me a confused look of exasperation. "And don't worry about me, kid." I'm laughing now, because here is substantial proof, looking me in the face. "I'm not normal and I'm perfectly--"

I look back at him. And he's gone.

I choke on my words, because it's _them, _black hood and all, exactly where Hayner had been an instant before.

"Insane? That's about right. I mean, do you _get it _now? Don't think that you're so unique. You're nothing. If I were you, I'd go home, live like normal, and just fade away when the time runs out. You haven't got long, you know. Make the most of your pseudo life."

"Why tell me," I demand. "Why do you keep coming to me?"

The figure shrugs, a delicate, encompassing motion.



"I've got nothing better to do, and it's fun to mess with you. I mean, you don't even know where you are…"

I blink and everything turns blue.

For an instant I'm immersed in that coloring box, in a thousand nameless shades of blue, falling with the sound of waves pounding in my ears.

And then I don't wake up. I'm still standing in the sandlot, and they're still facing me, unlike all the other times when I was able to wake up and whisper, despite the tears and the water and the sand, "maybe it was a dream."

Or maybe the waking up was the dream, all along.

It's crazy, but even crazier is the fact that if I think about things that way, it all makes sense.

I take a cautious step towards the mystery-man; though I suppose I don't really know if it's a man at all.

"What are you?" My voice sounds strange, warbling and carrying much farther than the high walls of the lot should allow.

"See what I mean? Mister Defiant, who doesn't even know where he is."

My vision shifts; and the surroundings become blurry. Everything is indistinct, and in my confusion I latch on to the sight of black robes, trying to anchor myself to the only thing that seems stable.

"_Answer the damn question," _I say threateningly, striding forward in spite of my vision--

right into an ocean.

Right into the moonlight.

* * *

**a/n: Right! I'm really sorry if this sucked in comparison to the first two chapters...it's a rather tough writing style to skip back into, so I hope it was okay. This will probably only have one more chapter, maybe two. I _can _promise a thought-provoking conclusion, which is the whole reason I wrote this fic, because the idea popped into my head. Anyway...leave a review?**


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